Greatest Hockey Fight Ever?

I came across this video on the sports humor site Sports Pickle the other day.

This took place in Kazakhstan between two 10U teams and literally looks like the TV show South Park in real life.

I must admit, I’m not a huge fan of fighting in hockey. Every other sport’s athletes have found ways to swing momentum in games by not throwing punches, so it is about time that hockey gets out of that prehistoric notion.

But, I’m a huge fan of kids doing funny things on camera and this ranks with the best. Plus everyone had full-screen helmets and no one got hurt, so we can all laugh about it.

Let’s break it down.

0:00-0:06- Ah, the old post-game handshake. There was that one kid that always thought he was so cool for saying something other than ‘good game’. I never got mad when that kid said ‘we won’ or ‘you suck’ while shaking hands because well, as a nine-year-old there were much more important things than indoor soccer such as Pokemon Gold/Silver or the post-game snack run.

0:07- After spitting some Kazakhastani trash talk, the child in the green jersey looks up to see a kid in the white jersey who is charging toward him. NOTE: the two kids no proper hockey ediquette. No cheap blows off the bat. Eye contact, a nod letting the opponent know a challenge has been made and….

0:08- The gloves are off. You can tell the kids have been practicing for this moment for a long time. Flawless execution.

0:09-0:17- Anyone that knows hockey will tell you that you need to stick up for your teammates. Kid in green gets tangled up, teammate goes to help. Kids in white see they are outnumbered now and they all go to help. Brawl on.

0:18- If you look to the right third of the screen, you’ll see #21 for the white team lay a beauty of a body check.

0:23- Parents now enter to help the poor refs break it up. Notice their calm demeanor. U.S. parents could learn a thing or two from them: Let the kids play. As an umpire in the Little League ranks for many years, I absolutely hated how much parents felt like they could control things. No need to run out onto the field/court/ice whenever your teenage child got hit by a haywire 20 MPH curveball. If this were happening in the States, the parents would be fighting more than the kids and lawsuits would be involved.

0:25- On the left third of the screen, you’ll see a coach dressed in black carry a kid off. Hopefully he was heard from again.

0:30- In the center, you’ll see goalies from both teams just standing around watching. Obviously these kids haven’t learned from Brent Johnson. Weak.

0:35- Order seems to be coming back, but #75 for the green team wants the last say. The coach in a red jacket makes a game-saving tackle from letting him do so.

0:46- Now comes the awkward part of trying to find your right equipment. That kid you were just punching might have taken your glove and you need it back. Kind of weird to start using your ‘please and thank you’s’.

0:49- This is probably the best part of the video. Every good hockey fan knows you have to let their players know you appreciate thier dropping the gloves. So, the parents and spectators have a loud ovation for the kids. Again, go go Kazakhistanian parents.

Think you can top that brawl? Shoot me a hockey fight video in the comments or on my Twitter page.


About suhlmann12
journalism student at Ohio University. Huge fan of Pittsburgh sports teams

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